start date: 12 Oct 2009 total projects: 25 total completed: 5
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This morning I went over to Dad’s house to sit the final hour of shiva with Yvonne. At 10am, I leaned across to Sheila and said, “At exactly this time a week ago, Dad took his last breath”. And then shiva was over. Yvonne and I hugged and wished each other long life. Then we just sat there, until I looked at her and said, “I think we should get up”. And we did. Then I suggested we take down all the tablecloths and linen for the mirrors and glass-framed artwork, and we did that. Then there was nothing else to do.
I had to go home to change out of my torn shirt and go off to my dentist appointment that I’d postponed 3 times since I broke my foot. I was sure I’d be fine. I mean, why shouldn’t I be, right? Well, I sat in the dentist’s chair while he talked to me about my teeth, and all of a sudden I burst into tears. It wasn’t any thought I had, it certainly wasn’t anything the dentist said, it just came out of nowhere. There I was, sobbing into his shoulder as he tried to comfort me. He called to his assistant, “Bring Helene a cup of tea”. And I said “no, that’s fine. I’m OK”. Then he asked me, “Would you like some chocolate?” He was so sweet, trying to console me. He’s Jewish too, so he knows all about sitting shiva, and my mother-in-law also goes to him (on my recommendation), and apparently she’d been there and told him about my Dad, so he knew what I was dealing with already. Thank goodness.
I think it’s time I showed you how the French Provincial Square Quilt A came up. It’s my favourite of the two square quilts. Have I said that already? Think so. I just love the purple polka dot binding, and the back, and how it’s more yellow and purple than red and blue. That’s how I see it. You can see for yourself and make up your own mind.
Now here’s FPS Quilt B for comparison..
So what do you think?
Nothing really to add. I feel like I’m in no man’s land. It’s very bizarre. I don’t know what to do with myself. Not that I need to do anything. I just feel very strange. It’s been a real time of reflection for me, this last week. Like episodes on telly, I remember things about my life with Dad. Funny, I was in the shower this morning and I had a thought – Dad’s not here to approve or disapprove, condone or condemn, like or dislike anything I do, anything I say, anything I have anymore.
I decided that today was the day. Enough with the messing around with my clothes on the floor of the bedroom. I started by pulling everything out of my wardrobe and sorting it all into piles. One for Hania, one for the rubbish – things that I couldn’t give to anyone, things for Devorah, and then a big pile for Gita and Sarah to go through. Gita came over in the afternoon, and I gave her the clothes for thrift shop, as well as the things for Div, and she tried on everything else she though just might have looked good on her, and ended up with a nice pile for herself that she took away with her. Then I pulled the vacuum into my room and oh man! should have seen the dust on the closet floor carpet! Shocking! Anyway it’s all clean now.
Next I’m going to clear out my general stuff shelf. All my bits and pieces, when I don’t have anywhere else to put things, they go there. After that, I need to go through Moshe’s clothes, then our shoes, and find a place for my Carlton footy gear (scarves, blankets, jackets, etc) and I’m done. I think one more full day and it’ll be complete. Fantastic.
The photos here don’t show the full story. It got much messier than that. And I”m not ready to show you how it looks along the way, I’d rather show you the finished product, so to speak.
This has been very therapeutic today, in between visits from friends and family coming to be with me. Really great. I’m absolutely wiped now though. Didn’t realize I’d picked a 30 degree day to do this. And you know how I love the heat! Not! Tomorrow’s going to be 39 degrees, so not sure if I’ll get to do much till Thursday. Stay tuned!
My Mum came over with a cooked dinner tonight. Div and Mark were here too so they stayed for dinner. Stir fry beef and veggies, salad with heaps of garlic, and best bit – her apple compote for dessert. Cousin Ben is in town, and he come over too. Then more cousins, Sluggo and Mich came over. It was so good. I laughed and watched YouTube videos, and was well distracted from thinking about Dad. I love my family. Now, I’m off to bed, my afikomen cloth “hooped”, needle threaded with cornflower blue embroidery floss, and I’m ready for the telly, my pillows and sewing. Good night Dad. Miss you. Love you. xxxxx